I got the wrong lunch at Noah’s today. I asked for whitefish. I figured I need the protein, especially with all the stress I’m putting on myself.
They gave me a chicken pannini!
Is this the universe giving me signs, or testing me? I will look into adding meat to my diet again as part of my New Year’s Resolution stuffs. I’m going to hire a nutritionist and go over it with her (I’ve got someone in mind already). I’m a little nervous that adding meat to my diet will pretty much mean adding a lot more junk food to my diet! That isn’t what I’m going for.
Anyhow, I took the sandwich back to Noah’s and before I could even explain it all they said, “Oh, you’re the whitefish!” They’d realized their mistake just as I walked out the door. The re-made my sandwich right away, and gave me a free dessert muffin thing with chocolate chips in it! They were so nice about it all, and I wasn’t really too irked; I was mostly amused that I got chicken after all my craving chicken lately.
So, for New Year’s Resolutions: I think the general resolution will be something about being kinder to myself and taking better care of me. This will include getting the house organized (finally), eating better (nutritionist), and sitting more regularly and longer. Also I’m hoping to accompany eigenvector to some wine tasting and learn a bit more about wine. Just because I want to.
I’ve been thinking about dating, too; I’ve got a couple little crushes. But I’m not sure I should add any more complications to my life right now. Clean house first, re-establish my in-home practice, *then* worry about dating or not dating.
Just mulling over what to do about my crushes has been a little stressful. I don’t want to HAVE to do something, I want someone to do something about me! I deserve it. But then I start wondering if anyone who lives in SF ever will! Certainly it seems the ones who have raised my eyebrows in the past couple months don’t seem to be aware of me that way. And then I remember reading those results about how relationships in which the woman made the first move do not, on average, last as long as those when the man made the first move. I’ve been a first move maker for the majority of my relationships. Since I backed off of that, things have really slowed down.
I’m just not interested in someone who’s biggest plus is that he can warm my bed for an evening. I don’t want to be one of several and I don’t have the energy to have several of my own right now. I want someone who’ll hang out with me in bed watching the lights from my window as something of a common experience. Someone who’ll drink tea with me in the mornings while we read. Someone to cuddle with and hold hands with. And who gives me space to be who I am, too. meh.