I’m not sure exactly what’s wrong with my blog right now, but something isn’t going quite right. I suppose that’s what I get for trying to upgrade when I’m sick and in a rush.
I’m still feeling under the weather, but have my fingers crossed that the worst of it is over. I take my last antibiotic today, so we’ll see what happens after that. I’ve been completely exhausted for days: too tired to join my friends for much of anything. Yet, well enough to still go to work. It’s not so much that I want to be sicker, but if I were worse I could ask someone to bring me soup without seeming too wimpy. If I did that now, it *would* just be wimpy.
These are the days when I wish I had some lover who had a key to my place so he could show up a little before I got home from work and set up the bathroom for a lovely bath and make tea for me while I soaked and then put me to bed and then left me alone to sleep. (Of course, he’d stop by after hanging out with our friends to make sure I was still ok and had remembered to take my midnight meds.)
Getting to hang out with GSC was really nice the past couple weeks. I love having a buddy to call and hang out with one on one. And I liked having a psudo-beau for the week. It was great to have someone open doors for me and pick me up and drive me to things and to even open the door when I got OUT of the car, too. And even–really–opening the door for me when I drove! That just gets to the heart of my “dote on me” streak. (Dude, I even bought girly shoes!) All that was missing was the sex and the sleeping over and that sort of attachment and interdependence which comes out of that.
Which was fine, honestly; I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet. It’s just a tad frustrating that the only men who open doors for me are unavailable for a variety of reasons. Or they’re the sort who open doors for just so long then stop doing it. Dude, I hate that. If you aren’t a door opener, don’t open doors for me. Is it really that hard to just be honest about something as little as door opening?
And if you’re faking that, what else are you faking? What else is going to change just as I get used to it?