I continue to consider what I should do with my life. How can I best be of service–best use the gifts I’ve been given.
I return again and again to ideas of some sort of social service. Ideas of becoming a grief counselor, participating in end of life care, or working with abused women or children. I’m not sure how to go about it, though.
It scares me. Can I hold that? Can I do it well? Is it selfish to not even try? I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by the intensity and quantity of fear and grief even in this city alone. Do I not relieve even a little only because I know I can’t possibly relieve it all?
How do I go about making this change in my life? I wonder if Naropa has an end of life program and if their program is accredited. I would love to join my Buddhist studies with this sort of care. Like the old Catholic nuns caring for the aged and orphans in their local community. Except I’d be a Buddhist nun, all dressed in vibrant saphron instead of black.
If I go the abuse counselor route, I think I’d better not wear the traditional nun’s robes. Somehow that just doesn’t feel right to me in that setting. At least, that’s not how I see myself there.
I’m tired. It’s time to do something.
I’m scared. It’s time to stay open.