i was going to write, but i’ve finally got this opportunity to catch up on sleep. i’ve been in bed since just after i got home, pulled out some old t-shirts i’d like to take some scissors to, and decided it was just too cold to be creative. instead i watched ‘what’s eating gilbert grape’… that movie that’s been on the sidebar forever as the movie i’m watching ‘now’. it should really say something about how i carry these netflix dvds around with me for weeks on end before i find a time to watch them–and then i feel guilty for not doing something else on my list while i’m watching the movie.

so, here i am writing while laying in bed. the laptop is on my legs, and is just a little too far away to see clearly. i guess that means i should add ‘get new glasses’ to the list of things to do.

i’ve been thinking a lot about writing lately. it seems to be coming up in conversations with a variety of people lately. i wonder a lot about the connection between writing and sitting. does awareness practice make one (me) a better writer? have my  years of writing practice made awareness easier?

i don’t remember a time when i wasn’t observing. it’s that fox totem that helps me with that. sit back, blend in, and watch what happens. and certainly i cary more mental notes about more noticed things when i write more. hand in hand, i say. certainly there’s a relationship, but is it causal? can you have a two way causal relationship? ah yes: symbiosis.

perhaps if i felt more compelled to write in full paragraphs, or at least full sentences. i’m simply not currently inclined in that direction.

things are changing, as they always do, and i’m feeling the urge to put finger to keyboard in regard to some of it. to be honest, though, i believe it should be pen to paper for a while. there are some things i’m not ready to share. perhaps this is another fine opportunity for the dip pen?

nah. i need the texture and sound of a paper filled to capacity by a bic roller ball pen. love that feeling.

and now — since i’m not going to write — to sleep!