A Treasure Found at Home

spider 9-20-2006 3-56-59 PM

Originally uploaded by Hjem.

last night i went to the un-wedding of a couple friends of mine. i wasn’t sure if the whole thing was going to be way too hippie for me.

my ex came to witness the judge finalize our divorce (as the person who submitted the papers, i was required by tx to be there) and he brought friends for support. but he and the woman who was un-married last night both went to the same college in iowa. i think that’s key.

however, there were a couple of really moving moments in the ceremony. it was touching to see him get choked up at one point. at the end, they ceremonously removed their wedding rings and put them in a small, ring sized, jewelry box to be given to their daughter when she turns 18.

certainly she’ll know they loved each other when she was brought into the world.

of course the entire thing brought up thoughts of continuous change, flux, cycles of life… of everything. of habits and holding on to them. of letting go. of just acknowledging instead of fighting.

and this morning when i pulled into the parking lot i wondered if i should change my ‘usual’ parking spot due to the spiders i found hanging out (litteraly) next to my car a last week, or if it was time for a change. as i pulled around the curve i found that all the bushes which had been home to the spiders had been chopped off about half an inch from the ground. allmost all our end cap vegitation, accross the parking lot, has been scalped!

looks like the un-wedding wasn’t the only major change in living situations last night. and here’s another change; i miss the spiders.

my homework from my therapist is to sit down for 10-15 min and write sentence after sentence that starts with ‘i want’. every time she asks me what i want i don’t have answers for her.

although that night out on the playa when i came up with the plan of what i wanted… both dr d and country ham went along with no question. and later c.h. said she was glad i had a plan and knew what i wanted to do. ! !

still 15 min of ‘i want…’ sentences?

what do y’all want?

a friend of mine created this website and had dedicated herself to rocking the vote… er, uh, encouraging people to get out and VOTE.

please have a look. register. convince your friends to register. convince them to convince their friends to register, etc.

yourethedecider.com

since i’m too overwhelmed with work to be doing much of anything worth blogging about, here’s someone else’s entry about a brain dissection video (also linked to in that entry). i’m not linking right to the dissection so you have a chance to understand just what’s involved before you watch the video.

i’m excited about the possiblity of having an off switch for my panic attacks. and i’m *really* interested in how they adapted the stroop test to find the possible switch. how in-gene-ee-ous! (what’s that from?)

eyes

Originally uploaded by Hjem.

i got contacts! finally!

y’all, it has literally been months that i’ve been trying to find contacts that fit. i had some that were ok, but the dog ate them (really). the vision wasn’t stellar, though, so we just moved on to another test pair.

finally, last week i had a left lense that worked and we ordered a new right lense. yesterday i went to pick up that new right lense.

they’d kept the last set, just to make sure walter didn’t get to them i guess, so i put on the left lense from last week and the new right lens and looked around.

…

things looked weird. i could *almost* see. it looked like if if just looked out of my right eye, things were fine, but where the vision overlapped between eyes was very wonky indeed.

he checked the right eye first and the vision was tollerable (which is as good as i can manage with my eyes) then had me cover the right to check the left.

all i could see was a big white square with faint black smudges where the letters should be! this was not right. perhaps, i suggested, i put the lenses in the wrong side of the case last week and now am wearing two right lenses?

he left me to change lenses and let them settle. putting my fingers on my eye to remove the lense stung a little more than normal, and nothing seemed to … be moving. i poked a couple more times and determined i was feeling more of my finger than i should if there were a bit of plastic in between my eye and it.

so, i called the doctor in and told him my new theory: i wasn’t wearing a left contact at all!

he examined my eye ~ look hard down and left, look left, look up, look down, blink ~ and i was right. he went out to the contacts table in the waiting area and found a lens there. after checking it for the toric marks, he washed it and handed it to me asking me to wash it some more before putting it in my eye.

this time it worked! beautiful, mostly clear world! how i love wearing headphones without pushing the arm of my glasses into my head. how i love that my eyes are easy to see now! how i love reclining and not having to tip my glasses up to see through the bifocal.

ahhh!

and, there will be sunglasses.

my friend’s little sister had a baby today! and in the birth announcement announced that she’s only six months behind!

babies!

me car now has ‘er own pirate name. the mad privateer.

avast, i be wishin’ you a glad holiday

~iron jenny bonney (known in some parts of the world as not-so-keen-on-the-womenfolk mary–just to keep the enemies confused)

holy crap!

these parents kidnapped their own daughter — complete with duct tape and weapons — to try to force her to have an abortion!

thanks for giving pro-choice a bad name, asshats. thanks for giving parents a bad name, too.

what the *hell* were they thinking? obviously, they weren’t. they better get convicted and they better get the full 15 years.

arrrrrr. tomorrow be knit like… er TALK like a pirate day!

but, for those artsy fartsy types there’s knit like a pirate, as well.

funny that… ‘jenny’ is the most common mishearing of my irl name… which, i think, sounds nothing like jenny.

i’m going to try to remember to mark down in here how i feel each day. just so i have a record i can find easily. feel free to skip these possibly very boring entries.

drinking chai and energy flavoured vitaminwater for breakfast. feeling less like i have a cold and my asthma meds seem to be working. nose spray still questionable, but it’s supposed to take two weeks anyhow. throat is no longer sore or swollen feeling.

but, still completely exahusted. slept from 9:30ish to 6:30am. could fall asleep now, but have only had a few sips of the chai. either way, the chai shouldn’t make the difference between fall asleep tired and awake, i expect it only helps with general groggyness.

meh.

just in case there is one of you who reads my blog who doesn’t also read i, asshole (and so i can find it again later), there’s this!

dancy dancy pipe cleaner man! 

i have asthma. and nasal allergies. and a cold.

at least it explains why i feel so crappy! and, no scratch test either.

but, i do have

along with some otc cold meds.

i’m a pharmacy.

i’m off to the allergist in a few minutes. i’m really nervous that he’ll want to do a scratch test and i won’t be able to do it. damned phobia.

i’m more nervous that he’ll suggest allergy shots! the thought of it makes me go cold.

have i mentioned this before? i’m deathly afraid of having my skin cut or punctured in any way. i’m not talking “afraid” i’m talking “phobia“.

art ganked from Adventures in Ethics and Science blog.

since i’ve gotten back from the desert i’ve had a very hard time breathing. this morning i woke up early, due to shortness of breath and coughing, and hied on down to the super market to purchace mold killer and anti allergen vacuum stuff to kill all that is attacking me in spguy’s house.

i’ve decided to move out of my house (must tell housemate) by nov 1. m & d are coming the first weekend in october and, of course, think they’ll find a condo for us to buy then. i’m less hopeful, and will move to a new apt asap after they leave … unless we do find something.

even rob weighs in (or maybe he talking about my job, or teaching walter not to steal my doughnuts, or something else. but, that’s the beauty of horoscope, it could mean anything.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “The time has come to declare the war on terror over,” wrote James Fallows in September’s *The Atlantic.* “Al-Qaeda’s mistakes, and our successes, have sharply reduced the terrorist network’s ability to harm the United States. Its threat now rests less on what it can do itself than on what it can trick, tempt, or goad us into doing. Its destiny is no longer in its own hands.” In a similar way, Libra, one of your personal enemies has mostly lost the power to hurt you. Its remaining threat resides in what it can trick, tempt, or goad you into doing. To say safe and sane, all you have to do is refuse to get sucked in by your weakened enemy’s ruses.

oh ha ha ha ha ha

another take on ‘you’re beautiful’

the day started with me waking up to hearing my cat meowing unhappily from somewhere. i didn’t know where he was and looked for quite some time to no avail. i heard him several times running or meowing somewhere i wasn’t, but had to leave for my eye appointment without having found him.

sp guy called just as i was getting to my appointment to say he’d found him and brought him back inside. i think the unhappy meowing wasn’t a sign of being honestly trapped, but of being ‘trapped’ by the other cat who lives next door.

then i went to try on contacts, which were still not the right prescription.

and off from there to look at a couple condos. one had a shower full of mold. the other was just too much per sq foot — just about $1000 per sq foot! the last one was listed as an open house, but was locked and there was no indication of how to contact the selling agent (she wasn’t answering her phone and the office was less than helpful, to say the least).

now i’m getting my hair coloured at a place i walk past all the time on my way to my therapy. i think i got the bottom of the run on hair colour experience. which will be good for my pocket book, but perhaps not fabulous for my colour. well, since i usually do it myself, this has got to be a little more flashy.

i did manage to have lunch with flo when i returned her bike to her. yay! she’s feeling grumpy in her come down from the burn — something i can’t relate to at all, i assure you. /sarcastic sparkle

i’m going to have to put in some extra hours tonight since the eyes and the condo took longer than i expected. and i have trouble logging in from the east bay over the mobile connection. but it does give me some time to just chuck it and do something just for me (the hair colour).

after a 2am run to the all night drug store for supplies, i was able to breathe well enough to sleep through the night.

i think that cat sat outside my window all night meowing, though. i wish i knew what to do to help it. it turns to run whenever you get too close, say, to try to take it’s picture with your camera phone.

i managed a few hours sleep but just woke up totally unable to breathe! i guess there’s a lot of whatever i’m alergic to here. but my inhaler and my allergy meds are all at sp guy’s house.

not only that, but i have a super killer headache since i missed dinner. i had vauge dinner plans, but since my discussion with sp guy turned into an argument which turned into us nearly breaking things off all together and almost certainly putting everything on hold till some unknown date in the future (whenever he finishes his project for work), i ended up missing dinner all together. i just didn’t feel like much except lying down when the call was over.

so, to sum up.

tired: legs hurt

allergy crap: lungs hurt/nose stuffy

didn’t eat: head hurts/stomach empty

sp guy argument: heart hurts

i feel like i got hit by a truck full of mold. good thing i have some stale dry cereal to munch on. all my post burn food bars are also at sp guy’s house.
i’m feeling pretty well connected to that yoweling-meowing cat outside my window. maybe i’ll call in sick and work from home tomorrow. we’ll see how much sleep i actually manage.

EDIT: it occurs to my my power cord is also at sp guy’s house. guess i won’t be working from home.