A Treasure Found at Home

this is one of my most favourite sesame street clips evar! love it!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=R9eIwafj7vk

we decided over thansgiving to slow down and take a step back from the house hunting.

then yesterday decided to give the east bay one last look anyhow. my mom’s friend lives next door to a realtor who he just loves; so i went out to meet her and see some houses.

i should have known the day would be slightly off kilter when my map to the office looked like this:

i think it’s pretty clear that map isn’t accurate.

when i successfully reached the parking garage (after tricking the map into righting itself), i found a great spot on the top where no one would open doors into my car. there was a beautiful tree with those leaves that change colour. we don’t have a huge amount of those types of trees around here, so i considered taking some pictures. i’d shown up early so i could a) avoid traffic, b) eat lunch, and c) have some relax time. i figured photographing the tree feel into category c.

i reached into my bag to put my parking ticket in my wallet and to grab my camera. neither one was there!

i’d forgotten to transfer my things from my being social bag from the night before back to my work bag for today. ugh.

and here i was in a pay garage! and i hadn’t eaten or managed tea yet in the day!

i calmed myself down and realized i could pretty easily just explain to the person in the booth what happened. since i just drove in i doubted i’d have trouble leaving. i didn’t. (as an aside, the woman in the booth had some SUPER long fingernails, the sort where you have to use a pencil to dial your phone and can’t wash your own hair.)

i figured i had just enough time to drive home and get my wallet if i was lucky. then, at least, i could buy my own dinner when i met with creampuff later.

that’s when it hit me. no wallet. no cash. no toll tag. no getting over the bridge.

i was stuck. i couldn’t even go home! (i could drive all the way around the bay, but i didn’t have the time for that.)

i called some friends. no one was in.

i found a free spot on the street with no time limit and thanked my lucky stars. i also ate a bunch of the candy my brother bought in tahoe which i’d ended up with. mike n ike’s aren’t the most nutritious lunch, i’m sure, but they’ll do in a pinch.

i was surprised i didn’t really feel that didn’t eat headache while i was touring condos and houses, and was super thankful i wasn’t feeling the effects to strongly. then i drove over to creampuff’s and asked her if she could sponsor me for dinner and bridge crossing. she was happy to oblige.

dinner was simple and yummy and cozy in a local corner pub. there was the cutest little boy who was celebrating his birthday and playing with a remote control robotic spider. he clearly spent a lot of time there and must have been related to the owner(s). just as we were finishing up with dinner, he came up to us with a tupperware containing the last two cupcakes and asked if we’d like one.

we said we’d share one and he sort of shyly mumbled his response,

“i’ve already had one.”

“well,” said creampuff, “why don’t we share one and you can save the other one for later?”

he seemed to think about this, but clearly had his orders, “my mom doesn’t want to take any home,” he told the cupcakes.

we thanked him very much and each took our cupcake to save mom from trying to put a sugar-high kid to bed.

as he turned to return to his table, creampuff asked him how old he was, “six!” he said without looking at us, without breaking his stride, relieved to be finished with his task of foisting baked goods on strangers.

i arrived home full and tired to my cold basement apartment. i flipped on the space heater and closed my bedroom door to trap the warmth. i did my night time things (brush teeth, feed cat, put leftovers in fridge) and came into my room to change into my warm pjs and read. as i took off my jeans i heard the jingle of coins in the pocket.

i checked. both pockets.

and found a $5 bill in each.

*smack*

words to describe the trip

family
snow
difficult
long
over

things i’m thankful for

• bro’s girlfriend noticed we didn’t mention what we were thankful for at thanksgiving dinner
• being back
• warm, purring, soft cat
• there were no accidents
• gift certificate to tahoe restaurant (yay pre/post burn meals!)
• puzzle
• books
• magazines
• very close coffee shop
• making earrings w/mom

snow!

Originally uploaded by Hjem.

happy thanksgiving!!

… words to describe my day

disappointment
disbelief
procrastination
lonely
cold

… things i’m grateful for 

altec lansing inMotion speakers
wash ‘n’ fold
kitty sitter
had to move car — excuse to take myself to breakfast
working from home
long warm shower mmmmmmmmmm
good, easy parking spot after breakfast
supportive phone calls
beautiful unknown song from hamster_grrl … “on a dull day can you laugh out loud?” … “fear will blind you so let faith find you”

the big deal fell through. that was really quick. i’d gotten verbal confirmation that all was well and we were on the move. money was spent… nearly $1000.

and then … *poof* the other party pulled out with no notice. i have to think she agreed to the deal with me to keep me from making it with someone else just in case it was going to work out for her. now that she knows she doesn’t need me, she doesn’t care about the money we spent or the hopes that were pinned on to this.

grrrr. really, i’m just completely, completely frustrated. i can sort of see her motivation, but also see how she doesn’t *need* to break this deal, either.

waiting feet

Originally uploaded by Hjem.

today is going to be a very long day. so much is in the air; i’d rather go hide under my desk in a nest of featherbed or something.

but, instead it is a day of not quite right. people aren’t returning my calls — apparently the nurse practitioner didn’t plan to call me back at all, but i pushed the issue and got a conversation. did she even get the message i’d called last friday?

my management co. hasn’t responded in the least to my letter about the sink so i’ll have to put together another package and send it registered mail.

and the list goes on… it could all turn out Very Well for me. but right now i’m still feeling that light-headed nervous feeling that has been my norm for the past several weeks.

although, probably not that cryptic.

maybe cautious is more the word i’m thinking of.

too good to be true? maybe, but i sure hope not. things are turning around in more than one area of my life.

there’s just one more thing i hope turns on a dime. and i’ll find that out tomorrow.

darts

Originally uploaded by Hjem.

yesterday was again a hard day. i made the decision to leave my women’s circle because i wasn’t getting a lot out of it. maybe i should have told them i was considering it, but… we’ve talked so much about changing the format and yet it never happens; which makes me think it must be working for them.

plus the moving thing i talked about below.

sp guy invited me to dinner and darts to help get my mind off things. today is his trainer’s birthday, so they were celebrating early. (happy birthday, ray!)

it did the trick. there was something about the peacock that reminded me of the oui, where we used to hang out in college. although, perhaps blissfully, the oui didn’t have karaoke.

and no one tried to teach me to throw darts until much later in university. the drinking and the darts and the smoking and the pool all sort of reminded me of my abusive ex — and yet i felt very very safe and appreciated and respected by even the people i’d just met that night.

i wan’t a heck of a lot better at throwing, but somehow that didn’t matter at all.

not happy.

Originally uploaded by Ella Minnow Peas.

i don’t want to do it and you can’t make me!

ok, maybe *you* can’t, but someone can. i really should do my work if if want to keep my job, and it does look like i have to move to sunnyhell to get a month to month rental in a place that can hold all my furniture.

but i look at the list of things i have to do for work and gosh darn it if it’s not really really hard to click on them.

man, if only i could fit into a junior studio with a tiny dorm fridge and and a sink for a kitchen, then i could live half way up the peninsula!

crud.

but, having lots of space will be nice. and i’ll have all sorts of time to be crafty since i’ll be eleventy million light years from all my friends (except ex-p guy) but only a stone’s throw from work. maybe i’ll learn to cook since the kitchen won’t be contaminated!

i’ll also be walking distance to the book store! rah! yay! books!

and the rent will be lower than what i’m paying now.

i just have to hope no one gets it before me. i need that month to month option!

mom 9-25-2006 7-02-58 PM

Originally uploaded by Hjem.

today is my mom’s birthday!

she’s 32!!

yup, that’s right, i’m older than my mother. she just decided to stop aging when she hit 32, and it’s amazing what kind of willpower this woman has.

happy birthday, mom!

sunday knitting 11-12-2006 10-47-56 AM

Originally uploaded by Hjem.

i woke up bright and early sunday because i flaked on all my saturday night plans and went to bed early. i wasn’t feeling too well; and certainly wasn’t feeling social. it’s funny to me how all this housing uncertainty really makes me want to hide away. you’d think i’d want to get OUT of the house so i didn’t have to think about it.

anyhow, sunday morning i had a brunch scheduled with friends. i needed just one more ingredient (that i wasn’t convinced would be in my friend’s cupboard) so i left a little early and headed over to the big box grocery store. i bought my spice and replenished my tupperwareish saver collection (almost all of mine went missing when i got a housemate) then headed around the corner to the chain coffee shop.

i have two words for you: eggnog. latte.

i spent most of the next hour blissed out on eggnog knitting, outdoors, in public. i bought this pattern a day calendar a few years back. they aren’t patterns like hats or sweaters, but patterns for cables or other designs. i picked and easy one to start and really only messed up the pattern once, but it was on the THIRD ROW! i blame the eggnog headiness.

brunch later was fantastic! so fantastic i forgot to take out my camera for pictures.

work feet

Originally uploaded by Hjem.

i’ve been on the phone a LOT today.

my car went in for a tire rotation and oil change and i found out i need a whole new tire. thankfully just one, it could be lots more expensive.

i talked to a finance person about having a meeting.

i talked to my mom about some tics and condos.

i confirmed a bill payment, which was harder than i thought. she implied i had another bill, as well, but was really asking if i had any more coming due that i knew of but that she didn’t. or something. very confusing.

then i canceled another service i hardly ever use. apparently they have very bad phones there. she said she couldn’t hear me well at the beginning, but never repeated that complaint. i don’t know if that was the real problem, but i don’t think it was all of the problem.

here are some highlights.

(the agent asked for my username)
me: h-j-e-m
cc agent: spell that for me?

…cut for length and to heighten amusement…

cc agent: i’m waiting on a confirmation number for you.
me: ok. cc agent: was there anything else i could assist you with today?
me: nope
cc agent: ok, thanks for calling [company]…
me (interrupting): were you going to give me that confirmation number?
cc agent: oh, yeah, i can give that to you if you want. let me put you on hold while the computer generates it.

may i say how glad i am i don’t work as an agent, even if i am in customer care?

home made scarf

Originally uploaded by Hjem.

dude, y’all. i made this tonight! just about 2 hours worth of work on the loom. i’m in love!

if anyone has a loom they don’t want anymore, let me know.

while i was working away one of the women who works at the craft gym went down the way to the tea place. she came back with a plate full of freshly baked, still warm scones! with kiwi! so yummy.

everyone applauded and praised my work. there was a candle making class going on at the same time that i was weaving, so i got to show off the magic of making fabric!

on the way home i started thinking about weaving katas… they must have special looms for such fine work, i’m sure. i’ll have to find out more about this weaving and yarns and threads and … all of it.

i wonder if i’ll ever find an inexpensive hobby.

i voted!

Originally uploaded by Hjem.

did my civic duty today.

more condos to see today.

rental unit to see tomorrow.

don’t forget to vote!!

i’m still recovering from the weekend’s housing debacle.

on top of the sink exploding, below is a general summary of the weekend.

we found something!

but it didn’t work.

we found something else!

but it had just gone into contract.

but the first one will work!

but, no it won’t.

so, i’m looking for a place to rent or a place to buy. if you have either, let me know, eh?

i woke up in time to take the shuttle today, but decided i wanted the time alone and drove anyhow.

i’m feeling a very distinct life-off-track feeling. i love my friends, really, lots, but i wonder if the general population i’m surrounded by has the same priorities i do. many of them are single and seem to want to stay that way; i don’t. i am bothered by what i see some women in my community do for attention, but then i figure i’d find very similar behaviours in other communities, as well.

true?

will moving to portland suddenly find me in the thick of a city full of women who don’t act less intelligent or childish in order to attract a sex partner? (instead of the handful of women i know here who are like that.) how about the mid west?