i’m in atlanta waiting for a delayed flight to florida. i tried to get on to an earlier flight with an affiliate airline, but the woman behind the counter was unable to help me. in fact, she told me they didn’t fly there. i pointed to the sign behind her and said, ‘it says right there…’ she blushed, ‘oh, so it does.’
i still hadn’t eaten, and couldn’t get a hold of my parents to ensure there would be anyone to pick me up on an earlier flight, so i dropped the project.
now i’ve eaten a little, talked to mom, haven’t seen bro or his girl, and am feeling really crap-tastic about my ex-women’s circle memebers. i donated in all their names to a local, small cause where the amount i had to spend could really make a difference. in return i received two thank yous and no acknowledgment at all from the other three. then, after a few uncomfortable moments — and being “tactfully” told by someone that she would have to double check if i would be welcome at an event because the woman i argued with over a month ago (who still won’t speak to me except to interrupts another conversation) would be there — i wrote what was for me a difficult email about how i felt in regard to the whole issue. basically, i asked everyone not to walk on eggshells on my account. if everyone was going to react to it, but no one was going to ask me about how i actually felt, i figured i’d better tell them.
one person wrote to me thanking me for putting myself out there. no one else said anything.
and now, another woman who is part of that circle has also donated in all our names. and she received very public thank yous from all the other women in the circle.
i feel like i’m being snubbed for having had a disagreement with someone “in ranks” and also for leaving the circle. this whole don’t speak up and hope someone magically knows why they’re being snubbed sure doesn’t work for me. looks like i really made the right choice. i’m disappointed, but only the smallest bit surprised.
December 23rd, 2006 at 6:15 pm
When I left our “church group” here in Stepford, I felt much the same way. I had gone out of my way to try and fit in with these people, but I had been “outed” on several occasions as not being like the others (ie: less money, not originally protestant, etc). So I wrote them a letter explaining that while I felt that everyone was probably a nice person deep down, and perhaps it’s not intentional–what, them being a jerk and all–I was moving to the Catholic church down the road. Because, let’s face it, if I’m going to be guilted about something, I would rather it be in an environment I’m familiar with. *laugh*
Which is to say, sometimes it’s painful (as my last stepford post bemoaned) to have to pull away because of percieved problems, but in the long run, it’s probably not worth the heartache and effort to try and pretend, yes? ’tis the season to be ourselves, and to hell with the haters and the players. They can put on their big-girl panties and DEAL.
I wonder if big-girl panties are thongs….
December 30th, 2006 at 9:57 pm
yeah, i know it was the right decision.
really, it’s just a few that aren’t responding to me at all. and a couple have stayed friends with me. it’s frustrating, but i wish i could say it was more surprising. someone asked me recently if i really expected one of them in particular to say thank you for giving her a holiday gift.
yes! yes, i do. i do expect a grown woman to say thank you when she receives a gift. but she didn’t and that’s her choice, and that tells me something even more about her. maybe i’ll buy them a pair of thongs as a “goodbye” gift!