A Treasure Found at Home

my new couches were delivered yesterday! the place will look really nice if i can manage to get the old couches out ever.

i posted to my community, no one wanted them (not surprisingly), then to CL where lots of people wanted them but no one showed up to take them, and then called the salvation army. whoa, the salvation army… they gave me a window of when they’d show up but instead showed up an hour to an hour and a half EARLY. and if i had given into my usual keep working and skip lunch habits, i would have been there. but i figured i should run out and pick something up before they showed up. and even though they told me the earliest they’d show up would be 2:00 and it was noon thirty ish, i figured i’d better not eat out; i should get something to go.

and when i got back just after 1, they’d already come and gone. and i called the 1-800 number and she gave me the dispatch number and i called them… the driver had already come back, dropped off his stuff, and gone home! they suggested i should just stay home from work another day to let them come by again. i suggested they re-route another truck to come get my stuff. i was told they don’t have any trucks in that area now or for the rest of the day. when i reminded them i live literally right around the corner from them, they asked for my address (boy, they knew they didn’t have trucks in my area, but didn’t know where i live?). then i was told all the trucks would be completely full.

suck.

so, when the new furniture showed up, all my old furniture was still there. the room doesn’t really hold it all well.

add that to not really being able to afford the mortgage until they change my w4, which happened much later than it should have because the payroll department didn’t (and still hasn’t) get back to me in time. i had to call in help from someone else to sort out where the online w4 is.

and top that off with having way too many things at work for one person, and everyone sending me email all the time about why isn’t their thing done? it’s CRITICAL, people are DYING!* and i spend all this time saying it’s not as critical as they think it is compared to the other things i’m working on and if they have questions they can go to my manager who just sends it back to me instead of getting the picture that i have too much too do.

so, i ended up sitting on my new couch, crying, in my overcrowded house that i haven’t had the time or energy to clean recently feeling like a total fuck up and like somehow i didn’t deserve this nice house and nice furniture and i couldn’t clean it all or pay for it anyhow and my mom was right when she said i’d be alone for the rest of my life.

and today kristy wrote this. i know it’s not true for her and so i know it’s not true for me.

and i’m feeling a little better. but not as good as i’ll feel once the salvation army comes to get all my old stuff.

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*not really, but that’s how they’re acting.