last night the moon was super bright as i went to sleep. the light came in through my skylight and cast shadows on my bed. with my glasses off it looked full, even though my calendar says that shouldn’t happen for another couple days. i fell asleep feeling happy and peaceful. i dreamed about exploring new places and these strange plants.
at 2:30 am i was woken up by a scream. not a playing around, calling friend, or angry argument scream — in other words it wasn’t yelling, it was Screaming. i wasn’t really sure if it was real but it didn’t seem to fit in my dream either.
then i heard her again. this time she said something. i think she said, ‘he has a gun’ or ‘he’s got a gun’. i heard a car horn, and a car driving off? driving by?
i called emergency.
they called back a while later. they found some people on the next block, but not on mine. now, in the morning, i wonder if the noise was really from the skylight — from the front of the building and not the back.
the police dispatcher said they had another call from my building, too. thank goodness! it makes me feel better about humanity in the face of something awful.
i can’t help wondering what happened. was she kidnapped? did the honking car interrupt something or was that a result of some struggle? i heard some other noises from her, but nothing from the “he” she was screaming about it. she got quieter, but she sounded so frightened.
i wanted to come down and get my computer to see if anyone was online, but i waited till i saw the officer’s search lights (which were confirmed by the call back from emergency) before i felt safe enough to come down the stairs.
i didn’t get back to sleep for an hour. i lay there trying to do tonglen for the woman, and just couldn’t. i couldn’t. for the first time in a long, long time i wished i had a boyfriend. i wanted someone who’s “job” it was to wake up if i called in the middle of the night if i just needed to talk.
i want this to have been a personal thing so i can feel safe walking in my neighbourhood. but i want it to be random so she can have gotten away and he didn’t follow her.
i want to know that woman is ok. i want to know she made it home, to a safe home, where no one hits her or pulls weapons on her.
i want us all to be ok.