A Treasure Found at Home

availability of other work
office supplied bagels
garma’s back
good parking spot
noise in car not cause for huge concern
priase you video (fatboy slim)
youtube
videos on flickr
time to read
caramels !
new clothes
cuddly nighttime kitty
healthy babies all around

there’s an idea out there that men’s public bathrooms are messier and more gross than women’s. i’m not sure i buy it. i’ve seen women’s bathrooms at well-run venues which i’ve been afraid to step into.

anyhow, this isn’t about that bathroom, this is about our work bathroom. a couple weeks ago there was a furiously whispered conference in the hall upstairs between a couple women and our office manager (also a woman). moments later office manager sent an email to all the women in the office, marked private, reminding us to please clean up after ourselves after using the toilet — make sure the protective tissue paper and whatever else is in the bowl flushes.

i almost replied to all asking them to please try to dry up some of the lake of water they leave on the counter top, too, but then thought better of it. that sort of behaviour gets me labeled as “passive aggressive” although WHY anyone thinks directly asking for what you want is passive is beyond me. but, that’s another post.

anyhow, today when i went in there was already someone else in one of the stalls. i went into another and started attending to business when the other person shuffled her clothes, walked out of the stall and then out of the bathroom. and that was all. she didn’t FLUSH! she didn’t wash her hands. she just. walked. out.

now, having known someone who was paranoid of public places (who actively worried about how to get OUT of the bathroom without touching anything and thereby catching a fatal illness) i think i can imagine her thought process. you see, bathrooms are dirty. they have germs all over as evidenced by unflushed toilets and pools of water all over the counter around the sink. what those minds fail to grasp is that if everyone would just sit down and make sure the paper goes in the toilet and flush (with follow up flushes if necessary) and wash their hands and mop up their drips - then the bathroom wouldn’t be a filthy mess!

unrelatedly (or maybe not since it’s frequently left behind - used), i’d like to see the data on how many germs that tissue paper actually blocks.

breath held
in
an.tic.ipation
(any second now)
wait

then
engines fire
bolts explode
rockets (bodies) shake and

breathe
quiet
peace
stillness

five twenty in the morning
eyes open
ears open to the crash bash drive of trucks
in the fruit-packing district

mind still in the dream
the bad dream
the leaving me dream
the not caring dream
the stupid, what was i thinking dream
why even dream such a thing

next those girls come waltzing in
the screaming girls
the wall-building girls
the name calling girls
the speak another language girls
why did i try for so long

i kick them all out

in their place come taxes
the more than i though taxes
the didn’t plan right taxes
the have no money taxes
the grow up quick, here i am taxes
how did i screw up so badly

one thirty six in the afternoon
eyes open
ears open to the mumble whirr of the office
under the bridge

mind still in the dream

i’m in a bad mood today. i got my tax stuff from my tax dude, and boy, do i owe some taxes! the real problem is that i mis-estimated the amount i should be setting aside from each check. which means, i’ll have to get a loan. plus, my property tax is higher than estimated, too. soooo. i’ll have to be paying on the “surprise tax” loan, setting aside more money from each check to prevent future surprises of the same ilk, and raise my mortgage payment each month to be sure i’m not surprised by property taxes either.

all of which is to say, if you don’t see much of me in the coming… oh, year or so… it’s cause i can’t afford to leave the house.

i had a bad dream last night, too. unrelated to taxes, but very much related to dating. so i woke up frustrated with myself for making poor dream choices, and then remembered i made some poor financial choices irl. as a result, i’m feeling rather barfy and unhappy today. fair warning.

a flame moves through
my city

everybody notices a fire

fire warms you
fire destroys
fire creates space for something new

after the quake the city burned
a different flame passed through the streets today
a flame of hope, brotherhood, and perseverance

maybe it was not so different after all

dropped the ball
on the writing
because i’m grumpy
i want that look again
i want it to stay
but i’m linus laraby
i’m captain reynolds
i’m temperance
and that’s a one third chance at best

my community is having a conversation about spending time alone, which was suggested as a conversation about not being in a relationship but has quickly moved to something much easier to talk about.

one woman wrote the following as part of her response:

Americans are “low” context, we say what we mean explicitly, we avoid subtley, and am uncomfortable with silence in group settings. “high” context cultures, for example the Japanese, it is not so much *what* is said but *how* it is said, things do not have to be said outloud to be understood, and maintaining a good relationship is valued above speaking what is meant.

this is exactly how i feel here in california, except replace ‘American’ with ‘Texan’ and ‘Japanese’ with ‘Californian’. and skip that part about any of it being understood. i hear people complain about someone in particular, how frustrated and upset they are, but if that person walks in the room they’re full of hugs and “so good to see you”s.

i’m still trying to get my head around it.

the thing that gets me most about this interview is the reporters astonishment that one of the protesters is a woman. duh.

the torch comes to sf on wednesday. these students are protesting that event in an attempt to bring awareness to the situation in tibet. the torch is, as far as i know, supposed to come right past my building. wednesday is going to be an interesting day.

another interview with the same guy is here. this reporter seems to have better questions. when he talks about chinese propaganda, she says, “so now you’re using the golden gate bridge for yours.” and calls him on the risk and inconvenience to the people around him. he had pretty good responses for the most part.

we were standing in the back of the tibetan goods store looking at rugs and heard a kid out on the sidewalk look in the door and say, rather loudly, “isn’t that one of those gondolas they blow in for yodeling?”

we both laughed out loud.

since i forgot yesterday’s poem, here are two.

Back

proving how he’s changed
she said
He opens his mail now
and i laughed
but i know
i’ve done that, too

Taxes

the day gets closer
just as
the days will continue on after

i will pay what i can
the world will not end

i’ll just eat a lot more rice

reading some of my usual blogs today i came across a post detailing this wish to raise money for a woman who has just been diagnosed with cancer for the THIRD TIME!

holy crap!

first, it’s not just a please give sort of situation. each time you donate you get a ticket for the raffle. so, donate $5 twice, you get two tickets and lisa gets $10 closer to taking her kids to disney before she begins treatment… again.

come on, guys. even if you just give $5 it’s helpy.

one fifty in the morning
lying eyes shut
on this side
on that side
on my back

i give up trying
and am thankful for my dvr

at two twenty three in the morning

as a word of warning, i’m composing this at the computer after a drink after not very much food.

my cat
my treasure
waiting at home

full of meows
demands for attention
a gift
a reminder
to practice patience

full of love and cuddles
demands to slow down
a gift
a reminder
to be in the present moment

full of fur
shedding
a gift
a reminder
to clean the house

who needs a tea boy when i have a cat?