September 2008
Monthly Archive
there are certain rules in life.
i watched one of them get broken as i drove to work yesterday. we were sitting at the red light, waiting. the light is at a T intersection and we were on the cross part of the T. it sort of feels like a light and a cross walk right in the middle of the block. i’ve never had to wait very long there, but apparently the man in the car to my left felt his time was much, much too precious to give even a couple minutes to allow people to cross the street. (though, to be fair, there were no pedestrians at this particular moment.)
he kept creeping up. you know the type. they seem to think that if they crowd the intersection the light will change just to let them through. as i watched him skooch, skooch, skooch up into the crosswalk and then into the intersection.
then
he just drove on through!
really. he’d BEEN STOPPED. and he just decided it was time to go. the person in the vehicle to his left also started to drive, but realised after a second or two that the light was still red and stopped again in the middle of the cross walk.
maybe ten seconds after mr. in-a-hurry decided to run the light it turned green. i caught up to him just about the time i was turning right at the next intersection. his light was red but this time there were cars ahead of him.
i’m sure it hasn’t slipped anyone’s notice that i’m not feeling especially verbose these days. i’ve been… well, i’ve been busy being human. frustrated, happy, hurt, excited, thrilled; and that’s all in one day!
today i read an article by a much more disiplined writer than i am about something near and dear to my heart. airport security. the funny thing is, no one really thinks these rules are doing anything to keep us safe. i have gone through the security line and been teased by agents about what was “illegal” in my carry-on (they really wanted some of those marshmallows)!
bruce schneier points out some of the problems better than i could. it’s a quick read, i promise.
as i reveiw my life…
oh, that sounds so sad and final. let me start again.
i’ve noticed time and time again that i seem much happier at the times when i’m learning things. lately i’ve gotten into a situation where i’m learning a lot, but not every day. some days are more repetative sorts of tasks. i can really tell a difference at the end of the day. today, for instance, the day flew by and i was litterally skipping down the road after work and before my study group.
i love that feeling.
and tonight i’m going to do the second day of the push-up regimen. i can actually still feel the push-ups from day one. that’s crazy. i guess i’m more out of shape than i thought i was.
but with all this learning and push-ups going on, i’m going to be smarter and stronger than ever~ HA! A HA HA HA! A HA AHA! … so that’s, you know, coming along.
today i was talking to a coworker about boys in their 20s and late teens. they are his preference and he said something about how good looking they are. he’s taking a class at a local night school and is sometimes distracted by one of his classmates.
i had to agree the young kids do look good these days. “i’m sure,” i said, “they don’t look that much different than they did when i was in my early 20s, but for some reason they just look so much nicer!”
i paused.
…
“actually, come to think of it, that was the end of grunge. they actually didn’t look as nice! they weren’t washing or brushing their hair and their clothes didn’t fit!”
last saturday i went to a meditation in the historic sweets ballroom. the theme had something to do with compassion and was partially lead by jack kornfield but sponsored by the east bay meditation center.
because we were supposed to be learning about compassion, jk led us in a specific a visualization. he asked us to close our eyes and imagine being in one of the most difficult situations we’ve been in. (i thought of a particular meeting with my women’s circle.) then we were supposed to notice a being of great compassion coming in the door (or across the field if we were outside) and excuse ourselves. my being was taller than me by at least a head, was apparently made of white light, and wasn’t identifiable as anyone in particular (others met the dalai lama, buddha, quan yin, jesus, a father, an aunt…) then we traded bodies with the being and we (now in the other’s body) became invisible. we followed our bodies back to the situation, sat down, and watched the deal with it.
i couldn’t hear anything my being was saying to them as me.
then it as me excused itself again and we walked back into the hall where we traded bodies again. then the being gave me a gift. mine was a clear crystal spiral on a thin silver chain. then it gave us some words of advice. mine said something about remembering they’re fearful, too.
then jk asked for examples of who we had seen, what gifts we were given, and what we had been told. i volunteered that i’d been given a spiral. i thought i had spoken clearly and loudly, but he said, “a sparkle?”
and i thought, “yes, in fact, yes.”
