A Treasure Found at Home

being called “girly-head” by a curly haired four year old in a dress and pink shoes while giving her a piggy-back ride up a tall, steep hill on a dirt road

this song: http://rurl.org/pml

my cat looking at the drain when i reach to turn on the water in the tub (that’s where the water pools, it must come from that direction, too, no?)

big ‘ol trout swimming up against my ankles

watching momma mouse run with babies still attached (only because i knew they were actually safe)

watching previously mentioned four year old try to slide on nearly horizontal slide, set so low the end actually pointed up

availability of other work
office supplied bagels
garma’s back
good parking spot
noise in car not cause for huge concern
priase you video (fatboy slim)
youtube
videos on flickr
time to read
caramels !
new clothes
cuddly nighttime kitty
healthy babies all around

there’s an idea out there that men’s public bathrooms are messier and more gross than women’s. i’m not sure i buy it. i’ve seen women’s bathrooms at well-run venues which i’ve been afraid to step into.

anyhow, this isn’t about that bathroom, this is about our work bathroom. a couple weeks ago there was a furiously whispered conference in the hall upstairs between a couple women and our office manager (also a woman). moments later office manager sent an email to all the women in the office, marked private, reminding us to please clean up after ourselves after using the toilet — make sure the protective tissue paper and whatever else is in the bowl flushes.

i almost replied to all asking them to please try to dry up some of the lake of water they leave on the counter top, too, but then thought better of it. that sort of behaviour gets me labeled as “passive aggressive” although WHY anyone thinks directly asking for what you want is passive is beyond me. but, that’s another post.

anyhow, today when i went in there was already someone else in one of the stalls. i went into another and started attending to business when the other person shuffled her clothes, walked out of the stall and then out of the bathroom. and that was all. she didn’t FLUSH! she didn’t wash her hands. she just. walked. out.

now, having known someone who was paranoid of public places (who actively worried about how to get OUT of the bathroom without touching anything and thereby catching a fatal illness) i think i can imagine her thought process. you see, bathrooms are dirty. they have germs all over as evidenced by unflushed toilets and pools of water all over the counter around the sink. what those minds fail to grasp is that if everyone would just sit down and make sure the paper goes in the toilet and flush (with follow up flushes if necessary) and wash their hands and mop up their drips - then the bathroom wouldn’t be a filthy mess!

unrelatedly (or maybe not since it’s frequently left behind - used), i’d like to see the data on how many germs that tissue paper actually blocks.

breath held
in
an.tic.ipation
(any second now)
wait

then
engines fire
bolts explode
rockets (bodies) shake and

breathe
quiet
peace
stillness

i’m in a bad mood today. i got my tax stuff from my tax dude, and boy, do i owe some taxes! the real problem is that i mis-estimated the amount i should be setting aside from each check. which means, i’ll have to get a loan. plus, my property tax is higher than estimated, too. soooo. i’ll have to be paying on the “surprise tax” loan, setting aside more money from each check to prevent future surprises of the same ilk, and raise my mortgage payment each month to be sure i’m not surprised by property taxes either.

all of which is to say, if you don’t see much of me in the coming… oh, year or so… it’s cause i can’t afford to leave the house.

i had a bad dream last night, too. unrelated to taxes, but very much related to dating. so i woke up frustrated with myself for making poor dream choices, and then remembered i made some poor financial choices irl. as a result, i’m feeling rather barfy and unhappy today. fair warning.

a flame moves through
my city

everybody notices a fire

fire warms you
fire destroys
fire creates space for something new

after the quake the city burned
a different flame passed through the streets today
a flame of hope, brotherhood, and perseverance

maybe it was not so different after all

dropped the ball
on the writing
because i’m grumpy
i want that look again
i want it to stay
but i’m linus laraby
i’m captain reynolds
i’m temperance
and that’s a one third chance at best

my community is having a conversation about spending time alone, which was suggested as a conversation about not being in a relationship but has quickly moved to something much easier to talk about.

one woman wrote the following as part of her response:

Americans are “low” context, we say what we mean explicitly, we avoid subtley, and am uncomfortable with silence in group settings. “high” context cultures, for example the Japanese, it is not so much *what* is said but *how* it is said, things do not have to be said outloud to be understood, and maintaining a good relationship is valued above speaking what is meant.

this is exactly how i feel here in california, except replace ‘American’ with ‘Texan’ and ‘Japanese’ with ‘Californian’. and skip that part about any of it being understood. i hear people complain about someone in particular, how frustrated and upset they are, but if that person walks in the room they’re full of hugs and “so good to see you”s.

i’m still trying to get my head around it.

the thing that gets me most about this interview is the reporters astonishment that one of the protesters is a woman. duh.

the torch comes to sf on wednesday. these students are protesting that event in an attempt to bring awareness to the situation in tibet. the torch is, as far as i know, supposed to come right past my building. wednesday is going to be an interesting day.

another interview with the same guy is here. this reporter seems to have better questions. when he talks about chinese propaganda, she says, “so now you’re using the golden gate bridge for yours.” and calls him on the risk and inconvenience to the people around him. he had pretty good responses for the most part.

we were standing in the back of the tibetan goods store looking at rugs and heard a kid out on the sidewalk look in the door and say, rather loudly, “isn’t that one of those gondolas they blow in for yodeling?”

we both laughed out loud.

since i forgot yesterday’s poem, here are two.

Back

proving how he’s changed
she said
He opens his mail now
and i laughed
but i know
i’ve done that, too

Taxes

the day gets closer
just as
the days will continue on after

i will pay what i can
the world will not end

i’ll just eat a lot more rice

reading some of my usual blogs today i came across a post detailing this wish to raise money for a woman who has just been diagnosed with cancer for the THIRD TIME!

holy crap!

first, it’s not just a please give sort of situation. each time you donate you get a ticket for the raffle. so, donate $5 twice, you get two tickets and lisa gets $10 closer to taking her kids to disney before she begins treatment… again.

come on, guys. even if you just give $5 it’s helpy.

one fifty in the morning
lying eyes shut
on this side
on that side
on my back

i give up trying
and am thankful for my dvr

at two twenty three in the morning

as a word of warning, i’m composing this at the computer after a drink after not very much food.

my cat
my treasure
waiting at home

full of meows
demands for attention
a gift
a reminder
to practice patience

full of love and cuddles
demands to slow down
a gift
a reminder
to be in the present moment

full of fur
shedding
a gift
a reminder
to clean the house

who needs a tea boy when i have a cat?

i upgraded my wp to 2.whatever-it-is and decided it was about time i made some other changes, too. so, i finally switched themes. i really loved the old one, but i was clearly never going to clean it up and make it mine. i also turned off the need to register to make comments. i have spam karma running and that does seem to catch most of the spam. we’ll see how it goes.

the weekend was lots of fun. i took my camera along but never pulled it out. one picture i did not take was acrobat and peanut sitting in the big orange chair reading in front of the fire. from the back all you could see over the top of the chair was acrobat’s head and peanut’s two little puffy pigtails.

from xkcd.com. brilliant.

there are some days when i really, really love my horoscope. this week’s from astro barry (http://astrobarry.com) is one of those that makes me want to print it out and roll around in it. i’m also starting to suspect my horoscopes are a year late but, whateves… this one rocks.

LIBRA (September 23-October 22): No, you’re not crazy. You’ve just hit a limit to how much of other people’s headache-inspiring garbage you can possibly take. Stop yourself before you begin to apologize to them for… I don’t know exactly what, but you certainly don’t owe anybody an ‘I’m sorry’ for needing space from ‘em. (They should probably apologize to you for filling your head with their yammerings-on, but I wouldn’t hold your breath for that.) If it’ll make you feel better (and I’d suggest it will), just shut yourself in and scream. Write horribly self-indulgently gothy journal entries. Throw darts at the pictures of them tacked to your bedroom wall. Use vulgar language… a lot of it. But please, Libra, don’t bother yourself with the pointless conversations on topics you couldn’t possibly give less of a shit about. They won’t go anywhere productive. All the while, you’ll feel those nagging social pressures to grin and nod and interject enough short phrases to indicate what an engaged listener you are… and all the while, those gestures will actually hurt (in the same way that dark-and-gloomy Wednesday Addams was locked in the ‘Harmony Hut’ in big-screen sequel Addams Family Values and subjected to scenes from Annie and The Sound of Music until she ‘broke’). Are you a masochistic? If not, then get the hell away from the chirpy folks who might otherwise drive you into seizures from the onslaught of their technicolor trivialities. Go home, lock the door, and grumble and gripe to your heart’s content.

i had a meeting first thing in the morning with my manager yesterday. i stopped for coffee on the way into work, but didn’t pick up pastries because friday is free pastry day at work. i walked into his office and set down my coffee and papers as he was checking his email.

him: do we have a scheduled meeting, or is this ad hoc?

me: scheduled, an hour. lotus notes stuff.

him: i’m still catching up for the day.

me: well, i planned to go get a pastry, so you have a few more minutes.

him: will you get me one?

me: sure what do you want?

him: a croissant.

me: well, i have dibs on the croissant, so if there’s only one, what do you want instead?

him [crossing the room and putting his hand on the door]: what are we talking about with s today?

me: well, she’s involved because…

he was jogging toward s in the hall; i thought he was going to pull her over, but he ran right past her and turned toward the kitchen… he was going to get that croissant!

i ran out of the office after him, cursing the fact that i hadn’t tied my shoes tight. i felt them slipping each time i cornered around a cube.

we raced the the kitchen and got to the pastries at the same time and causing a big stir. someone suggested we rock-paper-scissors for it. so we did.

round 1: rock rock

round 2: rock rock

round 3: scissors scissors

ah!!!

and in the middle of all that; d came in and speared the croissant with a knife and headed out of the kitchen without a word.

i’m completely gone for the ‘pew pew pew’ cats.

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