A Treasure Found at Home

dude, y’all, i’m in contract.

gulp.

yay.

last night at my hippie dance community’s annual member meeting it was announced that our next quarterly celebration will be called sparkle! acrobat suggested i charge for royalties.

as everyone and their brother was announcing the “evolution” of their relationships (read: breaking up/taking space), acrobat leaned over to me and reminded me that he and pilot’s five year wedding anniversary had just passed. rock on you guys!
i am going to write an offer on the loft condo in jack london square. i can’t get too excited about it anymore, but the location ends up being better than i originally realized. i’d be a hop skip and a jump from bart and a stones throw from the company shuttle pick up point.
meanwhile, on the east coast, my friend at nicolasix spent the day at the dc peace rally.

i’m searching the internet for answers today. i’m not 100% sure what the questions are so that’s making it hard to find the answers, as i’m sure you’ve all experienced at one point or another.

what about the loft in jack london square? will i love it? will i be happy there? will i find more friends who love to just hang out and don’t have to have every minute booked? will i meditate more? will i learn to cook? will i design the best kitchen ever and raise the worth of my condo by $100,000 easy? will i become a fantastic photographer and also suddenly know how to paint ~ and then be allowed to leave corporate-land? will this loft bring me my life partner?

or will i miss out on all those things if i take it?  can i only get those things in sf? will i feel even worse if i write on it and don’t get it, or write on it and mom flies out and hates it?

it seemed a little dark but, y’all, i saw it AT NIGHT! no big surprise there.

it’s back to the second layer of maslow’s hierarchy of needs. (here all this time i thought housing was in the first level. guess it’s been a while since i looked at this.) i guess it’s sort of halfway between both. i have a place to live, but it’s really cold and the paint is peeling off the ceiling and it’s moldy and i’m afraid to use the kitchen after the sewage incident. and the owner takes so little care of the place that the backyard has become completely overgrown.

yes, i know one of the reasons it’s peeling is that they painters just painted glossy paint right on top of glossy paint. strange that the owner, who is a contractor, didn’t catch that, eh?
there’s a place here in sf that’s nice enough, except for the tandem parking bit and the part where my bed won’t really fit in the bedroom and i’d have to downgrade to a full sized bed if i wanted a little dresser… but, it has it’s pluses. an enclosed outside area for g, a fantastically large storage room in the basement area that would be mine-all-mine and includes a full sized washer and dryer. it was even warm in that room. i could see that becoming my favourite room very quickly.

but the disclosures aren’t ready and realtor e wants me to write on it and turn in an offer before they’re done. he wants me to take it on faith that there’s nothing wrong, the selling agent told him it was mostly boilerplate. (then why is it taking so long?) i’ve had a selling agent try to convince me that a garage was really a three car garage when it was clear that the cars might be able to get in, but they’d never be able to open their doors. and that the big crack down the wall was because, ‘the paint must have shrunk.’ wtf? obviously this would be easier for everyone if i were an idiot. too bad, y’all, i know paint doesn’t shrink and crack walls, i know car doors have to be opened to get in our out (unless you have a hatchback, which i don’t anymore), and i know better than to write on a place without seeing disclosures.

and now we’re expanding the search (again) to include the peninsula (for the first time). mount view? paul alto? meny park? deadwood city?

when we start talking about me living so close physically and so far emotionally and mentally from the city, i start to wonder again about portland. portland has em, b, and baby; h and fiance; c; housing i can afford… and also this. it’s starting to look like whatever i do i have to move away from the city that i love.

i read over my old entries and realized i’ve been tired since i started this job! renting closer to work would help with that, but then what would i do with all that extra time and energy? watch tv? teach g to walk on a leash?

to sum up: i hate house hunting.

when housemate moved out early with a couple hours’ warning, he left his bed which i told him not to leave and his ugly ugly lamp which i told him not to leave and a pile of other things he didn’t really ask me about.

wednesday of last week i called the dump and scheduled a bulk/junk pick up. unfortunately they don’t take “recyclable” things. not thing for recycling, but things goodwillish companies would take, so i still have the ugly ugly lamp no one wants but the bed is finally gone and i have my living room back! hooray!

today i clean up the last of the other things he left, take the u.u. lamp and some other u.u. candle holder glass plate thing with angles (dude, really, even in my brief ‘angels are so pretty’ stage i would have believed this to be ugly) and a couple blankets to out of the closet. i’ll treat myself to a nice lunch at deboce park cafe, return star’s saver from last night, then come home and move back into my living room!

but that’s not all. there’s even more news from the first level of maslow’s hierarchy.

mom retired friday! she’ll work through the end of the month, then some time in mid january she’ll fly out here and help me find a place to live. a nice, warm, clean place to live. which will be all my own. well, mine and the bank’s. at least, that’s the plan. we’ll see what really happens.

i don’t really enjoy cleaning, especially when it’s so cold in the basement here that all i want to do is curl up under the covers and read, but i know the whole place will feel better once i get to spread out again.

we decided over thansgiving to slow down and take a step back from the house hunting.

then yesterday decided to give the east bay one last look anyhow. my mom’s friend lives next door to a realtor who he just loves; so i went out to meet her and see some houses.

i should have known the day would be slightly off kilter when my map to the office looked like this:

i think it’s pretty clear that map isn’t accurate.

when i successfully reached the parking garage (after tricking the map into righting itself), i found a great spot on the top where no one would open doors into my car. there was a beautiful tree with those leaves that change colour. we don’t have a huge amount of those types of trees around here, so i considered taking some pictures. i’d shown up early so i could a) avoid traffic, b) eat lunch, and c) have some relax time. i figured photographing the tree feel into category c.

i reached into my bag to put my parking ticket in my wallet and to grab my camera. neither one was there!

i’d forgotten to transfer my things from my being social bag from the night before back to my work bag for today. ugh.

and here i was in a pay garage! and i hadn’t eaten or managed tea yet in the day!

i calmed myself down and realized i could pretty easily just explain to the person in the booth what happened. since i just drove in i doubted i’d have trouble leaving. i didn’t. (as an aside, the woman in the booth had some SUPER long fingernails, the sort where you have to use a pencil to dial your phone and can’t wash your own hair.)

i figured i had just enough time to drive home and get my wallet if i was lucky. then, at least, i could buy my own dinner when i met with creampuff later.

that’s when it hit me. no wallet. no cash. no toll tag. no getting over the bridge.

i was stuck. i couldn’t even go home! (i could drive all the way around the bay, but i didn’t have the time for that.)

i called some friends. no one was in.

i found a free spot on the street with no time limit and thanked my lucky stars. i also ate a bunch of the candy my brother bought in tahoe which i’d ended up with. mike n ike’s aren’t the most nutritious lunch, i’m sure, but they’ll do in a pinch.

i was surprised i didn’t really feel that didn’t eat headache while i was touring condos and houses, and was super thankful i wasn’t feeling the effects to strongly. then i drove over to creampuff’s and asked her if she could sponsor me for dinner and bridge crossing. she was happy to oblige.

dinner was simple and yummy and cozy in a local corner pub. there was the cutest little boy who was celebrating his birthday and playing with a remote control robotic spider. he clearly spent a lot of time there and must have been related to the owner(s). just as we were finishing up with dinner, he came up to us with a tupperware containing the last two cupcakes and asked if we’d like one.

we said we’d share one and he sort of shyly mumbled his response,

“i’ve already had one.”

“well,” said creampuff, “why don’t we share one and you can save the other one for later?”

he seemed to think about this, but clearly had his orders, “my mom doesn’t want to take any home,” he told the cupcakes.

we thanked him very much and each took our cupcake to save mom from trying to put a sugar-high kid to bed.

as he turned to return to his table, creampuff asked him how old he was, “six!” he said without looking at us, without breaking his stride, relieved to be finished with his task of foisting baked goods on strangers.

i arrived home full and tired to my cold basement apartment. i flipped on the space heater and closed my bedroom door to trap the warmth. i did my night time things (brush teeth, feed cat, put leftovers in fridge) and came into my room to change into my warm pjs and read. as i took off my jeans i heard the jingle of coins in the pocket.

i checked. both pockets.

and found a $5 bill in each.

*smack*

… words to describe my day

disappointment
disbelief
procrastination
lonely
cold

… things i’m grateful for 

altec lansing inMotion speakers
wash ‘n’ fold
kitty sitter
had to move car — excuse to take myself to breakfast
working from home
long warm shower mmmmmmmmmm
good, easy parking spot after breakfast
supportive phone calls
beautiful unknown song from hamster_grrl … “on a dull day can you laugh out loud?” … “fear will blind you so let faith find you”

the big deal fell through. that was really quick. i’d gotten verbal confirmation that all was well and we were on the move. money was spent… nearly $1000.

and then … *poof* the other party pulled out with no notice. i have to think she agreed to the deal with me to keep me from making it with someone else just in case it was going to work out for her. now that she knows she doesn’t need me, she doesn’t care about the money we spent or the hopes that were pinned on to this.

grrrr. really, i’m just completely, completely frustrated. i can sort of see her motivation, but also see how she doesn’t *need* to break this deal, either.

what could be better than chocolate and karaoke and a potential condo?

why, free samples of unusual chocolate and free online karaoke and getting to know about the condo before it goes on the market!

feet

Originally uploaded by Hjem.

while i was working from home to get that much healthier before jumping back into the hotbed of germs my office has become (everyone is sick) my realtor called. he was running out the door to the airport but had just heard from someone that he would like to sell his condo. sfrealto thought it would be something it was interested, so he called me about it before it even got put on the market! it’s pretty nice, parking spot, in house laundry, and a view you could kill for! the whole place has just been renovated and has a gas stove and an electric convection oven! it’s also set up to have a home projection theatre. it’s just a little pricey if you look at the cost per square foot. i’d like to know there’s some room for my investment to appreciate. i told him as much, and told him my mom would be here in a week and would love to see it. so… hopefully, by this time next week the question will be resolved, it will be this one, or e-ville… unless something else fantastic comes along in sf in the meantime.

i came down the hill and had dinner at a local cafe, then went for a walk just to stretch my legs. on the way back to my car i wandered into a chocolate shop. the owner, jack, helped me pick out some chocolate for a friend and then a piece for me. i ate my piece as we chatted about housing and chocolate and business. he was filling little bags with a pistachio bark which also had chilli in it. as we talked he let me taste a little. SO GOOD! i probably would have bought some there and then if i wasn’t already stuffed full from dinner and the candy i’d just eaten for dessert. i rolled out of there with a promise to come back soon. the store is called chocolate covered and is on 24th street. he just moved, so the addres here is incorrect, though it’s on the same street. if you’re in the city around 24th, you should absolutely make a stop here!

i figured blog reading was about the most strenous activity i could rally myself to do in this chocolate sedated state. when i logged on i found a link to an online karaoke site where you can sing along at home just for yourself, or… OR… record the song and post it on their site! check out sing shot for some fun vocal stylings! not sure you’re up for ‘over the rainbow’ just yet. no worries, warm up with ‘twinkle, twinkle, little star’, or ‘twinkle, twinkle, take a fucking nap’, whichever strikes your fancy. i’m not sure if i’m horrified or excited. i just have to laugh.
all in all, i have to say the day was full of smile inducing surprises!

i actually did take a picture of my feet yesterday, i just never found the time or energy to post it until now.

i worked from home all morning; the person i thought was going to help me take some stuff to goodwill didn’t show but that was all right. i ran out of the house, nearly late as usual, to stop by the post office on the way to meet my realtor. i’d recieved a package for my birthday from hamster_grrl with all sorts of great stuff. she burned some great songs for me, sent me a new book and returned one i’d bought for her that i could use at this point, a rediculously hysterical card, bought a mala for me in australia, and included some musk flavoured life savers. (the box is in the other room, but i think covers the contents.)

house hunting was again a bust. the right one is out there, i’m sure, it’s just taking me some time.

i had a fantastic talk with my therapist about some of the feelings that came up for me on my birthday. i left feeling pretty good about things and came home ready to get some more stuff done for work.

by a few hours later, though, my throat was hurting and i could feel some congestion in my ears. i walked down to the drugstore to stock up on cold supplies and fill my new (my third) asthma prescription. this one *really* makes me look like a dork. i suppose it’s an attempt to prevent me losing my voice again, but he prescibed a spacer to use between the inhailer and my mouth. it’s like a teeny tiny gas chamber, except it looks huge when you compare it to a normal inhailer. i puff the medicine into it and then inhale slowly from there and exhale back into it and inhale again. i feel very space aged.

i had the pleasure of running into roxyblue and her brother at the drugstore. we chatted a while but i declined to go walking with them since i really wanted to get home and go to bed due to the cold i felt coming on.

i got buzzed by the blue angels after dropping mom and dad off at the airport sunday. ok, maybe not buzzed exactly, but they flew closer to me than at any other time during the weekend. turns out, hearing very loud jet noises while still very near the airport makes me nervous! luckily, it didn’t take me too long to sort out what i was hearing.

we celebrated my birthday while the ‘rents were here. mom found a really beautiful pen for me. it’s a blue swirlly pattern and has a very nice weight to it. she said she looked for green, but they didn’t have a green one out right now. the company has a different person design each pen so they’re all wildly different and all limited editions. and, they write well!

she also bought me a new set of dishes. the one i have is over ten years old and i never loved loved loved it. although they are nice dishes. mom had spotted the new ones before i’d said i wanted dishes and thought they were just up my alley. she was right! classic style with mix and match colours.

we spent saturday and sunday looking at condos and lofts in both sf and the east bay.  they both say they’re encouraged, but i’m exhausted! extending the search to the east bay is intimidating. who has the time to work with two realtors?

flo and i were planning to go to decompression after mom and dad left, but she was also feeling anti-big crowd so she gave me a cookie and we went to hoop and spin poi in the park. from there we went to a fabulous birthday sushi dinner and stopped for a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream on the way home, where we played trivial pursuit after playing with plutoes (the corn snake) for a while. it was exactly the speed i was looking for!

the day started with me waking up to hearing my cat meowing unhappily from somewhere. i didn’t know where he was and looked for quite some time to no avail. i heard him several times running or meowing somewhere i wasn’t, but had to leave for my eye appointment without having found him.

sp guy called just as i was getting to my appointment to say he’d found him and brought him back inside. i think the unhappy meowing wasn’t a sign of being honestly trapped, but of being ‘trapped’ by the other cat who lives next door.

then i went to try on contacts, which were still not the right prescription.

and off from there to look at a couple condos. one had a shower full of mold. the other was just too much per sq foot — just about $1000 per sq foot! the last one was listed as an open house, but was locked and there was no indication of how to contact the selling agent (she wasn’t answering her phone and the office was less than helpful, to say the least).

now i’m getting my hair coloured at a place i walk past all the time on my way to my therapy. i think i got the bottom of the run on hair colour experience. which will be good for my pocket book, but perhaps not fabulous for my colour. well, since i usually do it myself, this has got to be a little more flashy.

i did manage to have lunch with flo when i returned her bike to her. yay! she’s feeling grumpy in her come down from the burn — something i can’t relate to at all, i assure you. /sarcastic sparkle

i’m going to have to put in some extra hours tonight since the eyes and the condo took longer than i expected. and i have trouble logging in from the east bay over the mobile connection. but it does give me some time to just chuck it and do something just for me (the hair colour).

the pest report on the condo is full of notes on fungus and recommendations to replace window sashes, door frames, floor boards around the back door, and the bottom of all the outside walls. uh… no, thanks.

the search continues. unless by some miracle my agent thinks they’ll make all the repairs before i buy it.

doubtful, someone with more money and less fungus allergies will buy it and repair it as they can.

i got a card reader today that will also read the card in my phone! right on hooking up my technologies.

i was forced to buy the card reader today because i took 20 pictures of the condo i’m about to make an offer on to show my parents. *fingers crossed*

i lost the cord that connects my camera to my computer. i took a few nice photos last saturday when we had our girls night out, but they’re trapped on my camera.

i had hoped to deliver proof to my flickr photostream that i don’t just drink sodas from machines without care for which buttons i’m pushing and walk around in jeans showing off my cat scratches. i do clean up good. and sometimes i even go to nice places.

i’m sure it’s somewhere! and i’m sure it’s not that hard to replace. but it’s frustrating to be unable to keep track of my things again. it’s not even a sign from the universe that i need to slow down. it’s a sign from me.

now, where is that out of the closet pile? i’m sure i could find a few more things to give away to help clear the clutter to help make things i want to keep easier to find and also to make it more likely one of these condos i’m seeing today will be big enough for me and my cat.

so my offer was second lowest of six offers. we declined the opportunity to pay even more and get into a bidding war.

next…

realtor e just called. he’s driving the offer over now. the listing agent said there were 8 disclosure packets that went out. and the rule of thumb is that about half of that will make offers. low competition.

i found out a woman i like but see infrequently lives pretty much literally across the street.

also, it’s in the best earthquake zone with the lowest shaking.

wow, this is good for my pracitce, and i can tell my practice has been good for not getting too attached.

we are (i am) making an offer on a condo in sf. writing today, putting it in tomorrow.

hopefully, it will be the sort they can’t refuse, although void of horse heads.

gulp!

well, new to me, anyhow.

i flew to la friday to pick up what used to be my brother’s car, and which was my father’s car before that. on the way down i sat next to a guy who worked as part of the stage design team for madonna. he said they’d had to fly to sjc to spend two hours sorting out some weight problems with the lighting. actually, he only said the two ours part, the rest i sorted out based on what he was talking to his co workers about.

la was just like pretty anywhere else with my family. we painte a wall in bro’s new place, watched a move (d.v.code) and ate out. i napped while bro and dad painted the wall since i didn’t know to bring painting clothes.

then, sunday am dad and i got in the car super early and drove up to sf where we met my realtor and looked at property. then we met sp guy for lunch and i dropped dad at the airport. after working out with ‘b’, during which i was in an even worse mood that usual, i met up with sp guy again and we went to see ‘hedge’ since it didn’t seem it would require a huge amount of mental or physical energy.

my cat was very glad to see me come home, and immediately dripped two spots of drool on my leg as a reward for returning. love that galahad.

again: new car! new car!

why doesn’t anyone in california have floorplans? good lord, it seems so basic. i just want floorplans!!!

is it so much to ask?

apparently so.